Why is it that people seem to think that their feeling are more important than yours. Today I got a e-mail from the boy I adopted out 26 years ago. Not a nice e-mail very short but very to the point. Did I decease to receive this kind of e-mail. I believe not. A little background on the situation is needed right now.
26 years ago I gave a child up for adoption I was 15 when I had him, I took him home and 2 months later I knew I had to give him to a family that would be able to take care of him better than me. So I caught a bus into town and found a lawyer to help me. Once he had done a few checks to make sure I wasn't nutcase we talked and he came out with the paperwork for the adoption and told me of a nice family whom he thought would be a good match for him. I asked if I could sign all the paperwork that day so I wouldn't have to come back and he said yes. So that is what I did. Got back on a bus and headed back home, packed up some clothes, nappies and toys for the people coming to get him and waited.
At 4pm a car pulled up the drive and I left the room, they walked in the house and took him away. One would think that would be one hell of a great day for them not so much for me. So time moves on and 26 years later I'm in a nice happy place in my life. I had already meet the boy 2 years ago went well had coffee and a chat and that was that no more contact was had. Happy with that I only wanted to know he had had a good life which he had so yes I had done a good thing way back then.
Last week I write a letter to the parents asking if they would like to meet over coffee as I had always wondered what that day was for them you wake up and it's just you and you husband or wife normal day just like yesterday and what do you know by 4pm that day you have a son, your own little baby to call yours. I have not ever in the last 26 years made contact with them and at the time of the adoption had asked for a closed adoption. So I thought well the kid is now a adult no risk of them thinking I am any kind of threat to them so way not a little note saying "Hi lets have coffee and chat about back then". Well I was wrong because the boy e-mailed me today telling me that "you have caused a lot of pain over the last few days". I reaction to that was "I did what". I read again "you have caused a lot of pain" you have got to be kidding me what part of "would you like to have coffee" could possibly cause pain. Sending a letter asking for nothing more than coffee I do not understand where the hidden message is in that and I wrote that I not lonely or feeling lost that I was really very happy with my life and thought it would be nice to meet.
So lets look at "causing pain" was it painful when you got a phone call telling you that there was a baby that you could adopt, was it painful when you held him for the first time, was it painful walking out my door with him, was it painful when you signed the papers to make him yours, was it painful when you place him to bed that night. You selfish pricks have you forgotten all those things. Have you forgotten that I hadn't asked for contact for 26 years. Had you at anytime over the last few days thought that when you get a letter asking to have coffee it could just be coffee. If you guys had of taken the time to call on one of the 2 phone numbers I had placed on the bottom of the paper or maybe write to the e-mail address you might of found out that I don't want your kid I have my own she is 23 and all I need frankly I was never the mothering kind. But no you go with having a big meltdown to your son so he has to e-mail me, why was it to hard to do it yourself.
What a bunch of softcocks you two are. I am pissed off, I am gutted and basically wanted to call you both and tell to "Go Fuck Yourselves". What is your problem I gave you my kid and stayed the fuck out of your life for 26 years what a cow I am what the hell was I thinking that you would at least have the Integrity to reply to my letter.
So to you Sharon and Phillip stop being so bloody fragile pull your heads out of your arse and think about this I didn't give you a cup of sugar I gave you a child and the least you could do is reply to a require asked of you. You can say no. So I will not be walked over by you lot. I did a good thing back then. Stop making this something that it is not. And it wouldn't kill you to stop for a minute and think that maybe I have some feeling and maybe I may be feeling a little hurt by this.
Hey and a Fucking Thank You wouldn't go a miss
So that is my Day One Blog. Next Stepchildren they piss me off too. Actualy lots of things piss me off so this could be the Blog that goes on for ever.
Warrior Girl
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