I have had a few days now to think about things. And on reflection I am very happy with my Day One rant. Just very sad about it all. However happy to not have any contact with any of them. A friend at said that maybe the parents will have a think about and drop me a line, my reply to that was "it would want to a blood good reply with the words I'm sorry in it".
The last few days have also made me think about two other things firstly on that day I gave them my child the lawyer told me I had to go the Social Welfare and tell them I was adopting the child out and it would be a private adoption. So off I went walked down the road to the Social Welfare building and upstairs to the right floor and asked for a Social Worker. I told the woman who came out why I was there she showed me into a room and come back with another Social Worker and 3 files. In these files were the top 3 couples that were on the list to adopt, they made me open the files and as I sat there in tears they both talked about how what I was doing was wrong and the child would have a terrible life it was a tag team of "you are doing the wrong thing, pick a file" and on and on they went for nearly 20 minutes it was only when the one by the door moved away for a moment that I run out the door and back to the lawyers office. That was fun and good on the social welfare using all those good old fashion social working skill.
Secondly I have been thinking about this amazing couple way back then that I had once said to them that I was very sorry that I had not offered the child to them. Her name was Barbara she was my Social Worker (not like those other evil bitches at Child Adoption) when I was in Kingslea (Finishing School for Girls) I went to her and asked her to help me adopt the child out. Her and her husband were there most amazing people I have ever known. Years later I was chatting with her and I had mentioned that I should had offered the child to them and she said "We wouldn't have said yes, it was more important that we look after you at that time" good people don't you think. Today I am more than sorry that they are not the parents of this child. I feel sick to my stomach that I didn't choose the right people. Here are a few ideas we came up with what I should do next:
Send the same letter every week,
Send a letter with the words cut out of the newspaper
Send a jigsaw and when it's finished it's me holding a sign "Would you like to have coffee"
There were more but as funny as they were I shouldn't write them here.
Right enough of that.
I have been thinking about what I could write about being that what I have to say is so important. Some subjects that I thought could be interesting mostly to me.
Stepchildren (one in particular)
Weak woman
Child abuse
Why I stopped supporting the All Blacks (Another rant will be if more people get outraged of this one than Child Abuse)
Teenager girl are Evil and Mean
Friendship (this should be a rather nice blog I would hope)
Friendships gone wrong
Stupid men (could this the shortest blog ever "Man are Stupid")
Parenting 101
Being a Warriors supporter
My Mother (If you ever meet you will know this could end up part 1 and 2) She is mean, mad and is on the top of my list of people I never want to be in my life ever again.
Well people I need followers so do what ever it that you need to do to become one. I should make a name for my followers like my own personal cult. With that in mind all should start selling all there belongs as it wont be long till I start asking for money and of course like all good cults you wont need all that stuff.
Till Next Time
Warrior Girl
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
Sunday, 28 August 2011
Day One
Why is it that people seem to think that their feeling are more important than yours. Today I got a e-mail from the boy I adopted out 26 years ago. Not a nice e-mail very short but very to the point. Did I decease to receive this kind of e-mail. I believe not. A little background on the situation is needed right now.
26 years ago I gave a child up for adoption I was 15 when I had him, I took him home and 2 months later I knew I had to give him to a family that would be able to take care of him better than me. So I caught a bus into town and found a lawyer to help me. Once he had done a few checks to make sure I wasn't nutcase we talked and he came out with the paperwork for the adoption and told me of a nice family whom he thought would be a good match for him. I asked if I could sign all the paperwork that day so I wouldn't have to come back and he said yes. So that is what I did. Got back on a bus and headed back home, packed up some clothes, nappies and toys for the people coming to get him and waited.
At 4pm a car pulled up the drive and I left the room, they walked in the house and took him away. One would think that would be one hell of a great day for them not so much for me. So time moves on and 26 years later I'm in a nice happy place in my life. I had already meet the boy 2 years ago went well had coffee and a chat and that was that no more contact was had. Happy with that I only wanted to know he had had a good life which he had so yes I had done a good thing way back then.
Last week I write a letter to the parents asking if they would like to meet over coffee as I had always wondered what that day was for them you wake up and it's just you and you husband or wife normal day just like yesterday and what do you know by 4pm that day you have a son, your own little baby to call yours. I have not ever in the last 26 years made contact with them and at the time of the adoption had asked for a closed adoption. So I thought well the kid is now a adult no risk of them thinking I am any kind of threat to them so way not a little note saying "Hi lets have coffee and chat about back then". Well I was wrong because the boy e-mailed me today telling me that "you have caused a lot of pain over the last few days". I reaction to that was "I did what". I read again "you have caused a lot of pain" you have got to be kidding me what part of "would you like to have coffee" could possibly cause pain. Sending a letter asking for nothing more than coffee I do not understand where the hidden message is in that and I wrote that I not lonely or feeling lost that I was really very happy with my life and thought it would be nice to meet.
So lets look at "causing pain" was it painful when you got a phone call telling you that there was a baby that you could adopt, was it painful when you held him for the first time, was it painful walking out my door with him, was it painful when you signed the papers to make him yours, was it painful when you place him to bed that night. You selfish pricks have you forgotten all those things. Have you forgotten that I hadn't asked for contact for 26 years. Had you at anytime over the last few days thought that when you get a letter asking to have coffee it could just be coffee. If you guys had of taken the time to call on one of the 2 phone numbers I had placed on the bottom of the paper or maybe write to the e-mail address you might of found out that I don't want your kid I have my own she is 23 and all I need frankly I was never the mothering kind. But no you go with having a big meltdown to your son so he has to e-mail me, why was it to hard to do it yourself.
What a bunch of softcocks you two are. I am pissed off, I am gutted and basically wanted to call you both and tell to "Go Fuck Yourselves". What is your problem I gave you my kid and stayed the fuck out of your life for 26 years what a cow I am what the hell was I thinking that you would at least have the Integrity to reply to my letter.
So to you Sharon and Phillip stop being so bloody fragile pull your heads out of your arse and think about this I didn't give you a cup of sugar I gave you a child and the least you could do is reply to a require asked of you. You can say no. So I will not be walked over by you lot. I did a good thing back then. Stop making this something that it is not. And it wouldn't kill you to stop for a minute and think that maybe I have some feeling and maybe I may be feeling a little hurt by this.
Hey and a Fucking Thank You wouldn't go a miss
So that is my Day One Blog. Next Stepchildren they piss me off too. Actualy lots of things piss me off so this could be the Blog that goes on for ever.
Warrior Girl
26 years ago I gave a child up for adoption I was 15 when I had him, I took him home and 2 months later I knew I had to give him to a family that would be able to take care of him better than me. So I caught a bus into town and found a lawyer to help me. Once he had done a few checks to make sure I wasn't nutcase we talked and he came out with the paperwork for the adoption and told me of a nice family whom he thought would be a good match for him. I asked if I could sign all the paperwork that day so I wouldn't have to come back and he said yes. So that is what I did. Got back on a bus and headed back home, packed up some clothes, nappies and toys for the people coming to get him and waited.
At 4pm a car pulled up the drive and I left the room, they walked in the house and took him away. One would think that would be one hell of a great day for them not so much for me. So time moves on and 26 years later I'm in a nice happy place in my life. I had already meet the boy 2 years ago went well had coffee and a chat and that was that no more contact was had. Happy with that I only wanted to know he had had a good life which he had so yes I had done a good thing way back then.
Last week I write a letter to the parents asking if they would like to meet over coffee as I had always wondered what that day was for them you wake up and it's just you and you husband or wife normal day just like yesterday and what do you know by 4pm that day you have a son, your own little baby to call yours. I have not ever in the last 26 years made contact with them and at the time of the adoption had asked for a closed adoption. So I thought well the kid is now a adult no risk of them thinking I am any kind of threat to them so way not a little note saying "Hi lets have coffee and chat about back then". Well I was wrong because the boy e-mailed me today telling me that "you have caused a lot of pain over the last few days". I reaction to that was "I did what". I read again "you have caused a lot of pain" you have got to be kidding me what part of "would you like to have coffee" could possibly cause pain. Sending a letter asking for nothing more than coffee I do not understand where the hidden message is in that and I wrote that I not lonely or feeling lost that I was really very happy with my life and thought it would be nice to meet.
So lets look at "causing pain" was it painful when you got a phone call telling you that there was a baby that you could adopt, was it painful when you held him for the first time, was it painful walking out my door with him, was it painful when you signed the papers to make him yours, was it painful when you place him to bed that night. You selfish pricks have you forgotten all those things. Have you forgotten that I hadn't asked for contact for 26 years. Had you at anytime over the last few days thought that when you get a letter asking to have coffee it could just be coffee. If you guys had of taken the time to call on one of the 2 phone numbers I had placed on the bottom of the paper or maybe write to the e-mail address you might of found out that I don't want your kid I have my own she is 23 and all I need frankly I was never the mothering kind. But no you go with having a big meltdown to your son so he has to e-mail me, why was it to hard to do it yourself.
What a bunch of softcocks you two are. I am pissed off, I am gutted and basically wanted to call you both and tell to "Go Fuck Yourselves". What is your problem I gave you my kid and stayed the fuck out of your life for 26 years what a cow I am what the hell was I thinking that you would at least have the Integrity to reply to my letter.
So to you Sharon and Phillip stop being so bloody fragile pull your heads out of your arse and think about this I didn't give you a cup of sugar I gave you a child and the least you could do is reply to a require asked of you. You can say no. So I will not be walked over by you lot. I did a good thing back then. Stop making this something that it is not. And it wouldn't kill you to stop for a minute and think that maybe I have some feeling and maybe I may be feeling a little hurt by this.
Hey and a Fucking Thank You wouldn't go a miss
So that is my Day One Blog. Next Stepchildren they piss me off too. Actualy lots of things piss me off so this could be the Blog that goes on for ever.
Warrior Girl
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)